Stateside Memo
12 August 2015
Hello there... Rodger French here.
Assuming that the appropriate bureaucratic constellations align in a
timely fashion, Anne and I will be departing these American shores in a week or
so for Myanmar, aka Burma. As the kidz say, “Shit’s gettin’ real.”
But first, permit me to offer a few fully-half-baked observations on
the state of affairs in the US of A from my perspective as an expat, patriot,
and once-and-future resident.
1. The pandemic of junk food abuse in the United States continues
unabated. Good times for us aficionados of exotic potato chips, bad news for
public health. And our obsession with bacon has gone completely around the
bend. Bacon ice cream? No. This madness must cease.
2. Basic cable television is basically boring; that is, when it’s
not actively appalling. There are exceptions; for example, Jon Stewart’s “Daily
Show” sayonara, featuring his brilliant soliloquy on “bullshit” and exit music
by Springsteen. Also, “Castle” reruns. (No apologies; they remind us of Buenos
Aires.)
3. Regarding the so-called “Confederate Flag,” or, more
evolutionarily, the “Banner of Treason in Defense of Slavery,” the “Banner of
Treason in Defense of White Supremacy,” and the “Banner of Treason in Defense
of American Apartheid:” The mercifully few folks I’ve observed proudly
flaunting their “Banner of Treason in Defense of Heritage” appeared to embody pretty
much every white racist jackass stereotype. Honkies, please!
4. The United States has forfeited any conceivable prerogative to
cast aspersions on any other nation’s electoral process (including Argentina
and Burma, both with elections later this year). Indeed, achieving parity with
the Italians seems less unlikely every day, now that Donald Trump has assumed
the role of Silvio Berlusconi, albeit without the charm.
5. The U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team totally rocks. ‘Nuff said.
6. Gas prices in both Alabama and South Carolina have dipped as low
as $2.15.9/gallon. Therefore, since he wrongly gets the blame when gas prices
go up, I’d like to take a moment to say “Thanks, President Obama.”
7. Moment of Zen: After three blissful years of not owning a car, we
have logged about 4,500 miles on a rental vehicle during home leave, often on
seriously overcrowded highways unconducive to happy motoring. But one day, while
driving on I-85N through NC, I slipped behind an 18-wheeler belonging to an
automobile racing team and driven by a real pro, drafting for a considerable
distance until he exited at a weigh station. Possibly the best driver with whom
I’ve ever slipstreamed on our Dwight D. Eisenhower National System of Interstate and
Defense Highways. (Thanks, Ike.)
Finally, since there is no such thing as too much bacon reiteration,
the third in the ongoing series of my postings from exotic locales is available
from Amazon.com at a ridiculously
reasonable price:
This is a companion book to the first two volumes:
Collect the set. Coming soon: “Messages From Myanmar.”
All thanks to family and friends who generously accommodated us, thereby
making our trip Stateside a rip-roaring success. We are deeply grateful and
love you madly.
Hasta Birmania. Onward.
Rodger
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