Felicitations From Fairhope #05

Follow-up From Fairhope #05

02 April 2020

[Lowered Expectations Sidebar - This series of postings - six in total - was completed before we were all engulfed by the advent of The Virus. We now live in a time when having competent elected officials deliver some actual leadership is literally a matter of life or death. I am not entirely sanguine about the possibilities, but your local results may vary…]

Six Postings on Five Continents (cont.)

THE EMBASSY

Accra - When we first arrived, the Embassy was scattered in buildings all over Accra, making it complicated to get things done. But we eventually moved into a new facility on a standard “cookie cutter” compound, one designed/built in the wake of the embassy bombings in Nairobi and Dar es Salaam. Besides improving security, the new arrangement brought people together and resulted in a more cohesive Mission.

Pretoria - The building is somewhat older, but decent enough, although parking was an issue, since all the Americans had cars out of necessity. The cafeteria was not very good, but fortunately Harrie’s Pancakes (featuring sweet and savory selections) was just across the street.

Washington, DC - N/A

Buenos Aires - The Embassy building in BsAs looks like an unprepossessing bunker, and is grievously overcrowded and not at all healthy. Fortunately, the Ambassador’s Residence in nearby Bosch Palace had excellent facilities for socializing and, for added entertainment, the park across the street was a haven for flocks of voluble parakeets.

Yangon - Housed in another standard compound, but one featuring great art, an outstanding local staff, and a terrific cafeteria. And, IMHO, the best Front Office (Ambassador and DCM) of all our assignments. A very good place to work.

Rome - Tri-Mission Rome - encompassing the U.S. Embassy, Vatican Embassy, and United Nations Mission - is littered with ancient statuary and housed in several historic buildings that consume a city block of prime Roman real estate. Boatloads of people are constantly in and out of the place and it was difficult to establish any real communal spirit. But, shout out to the orientation office for helping new arrivals feel welcome.

DoS EMPLOYMENT

Accra - (Community Liaison Officer) After months waiting to get my Top Secret security clearance (it didn’t help that my first set of fingerprints got misplaced), I actually began working. And, shortly after I started, the Embassy ceased being a scattered mess and relocated into a brand new facility, walking distance from our house. So, good gig.

Pretoria - (HR Temp Pool) The job was eclectic (I fancied myself as being like a utility infielder) and often interesting, and I even received several commendations, one of them in cash. Not too shabby.

Washington, DC - (N/A) Except for dropping A.J. off at work at “Main State” now and then, I avoided the State Department like the plague.

Buenos Aires - (WAE Rover Secretary) Had to reapply for a TS clearance, which took months… again. Did the eclectic thing… again, and was awarded a couple of commendations… no complaints.

Yangon - (RSO Security Escort) In addition to the usual escorting of workers who lacked sufficient clearance for certain “secret squirrel” areas, I also assisted with day-to-day stuff in the Regional Security Office and helped out at the biometrics window in Consular. No awards this go-round, but RSO was a fun group (“Hawaiian Shirt Fridays,” anyone?). 

Rome - (Facilities Security Escort) Good news: In 2016, DoS instituted a program enabling EFMs (Eligible Family members) to carry their security clearance from one post to the next, and about time, too. Bad news: In 2017, the Trump administration instituted an idiotic federal hiring freeze. When it was finally lifted, I applied for essentially the same job as the one I had previously held.

Imagine my surprise upon discovering that it came complete with a 40% pay cut. I went from banking actual savings to pocketing “walking around money.” But there was nothing to do except get on with it, so I became an underpaid member of a very good embassy facilities maintenance crew.

Bonus Professional Sidebar: Evaluating the Secretaries

Condoleezza Rice - She did support PEPFAR, the one truly worthwhile foreign policy initiative to come out of eight years of Cheney/Bush malfeasance. But Rice also presided over the elimination of Business Class tickets for diplomats flying over 14 hours to post. For which I will always hate her. 

Hillary Clinton - True story: Secretary Clinton visited South Africa and I was assigned to assist her as a kid wrangler at an Embassy family event. She was a real pro and great with the children. I can also report that during the entire time we worked the room, she never once made actual eye contact with me. I found that somewhat… disconcerting.

John Kerry – I’ve held Kerry in high esteem since his VVAW days, and he proved an enthusiastic and perfectly acceptable Secretary of State. And all those heartland Republican dumbshits who dishonored his patriotism - remember “Purple Heart Band-Aids?” - still owe apologies.

Rex Tillerson - Unqualified, unmotivated, and unmissed. Although he did presciently, if rudely, elucidate that President Trump is a “fucking moron,” so, props for that.

Mike Pompeo – Simply. The. Worst. Smug, self-righteous, and belligerent, Pompeo is a dangerous religious fanatic and a godawful Secretary of State. His hackish sycophancy to Trump always takes precedent over the needs of the Foreign Service, resulting in systemic failure to support honest-to-goodness diplomats trying to do their damned jobs. He occasionally talks a good game, but it’s all bullshit: Mike Pompeo does not have your back.

To be continued…